Someone shit on the floor
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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