I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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