so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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