that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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