You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
