just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
