Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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