I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
