i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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