party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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