1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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