Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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