9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
