i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
