David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
No subtext here. People are naked.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
