Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
