is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
