I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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