and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
