We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
