I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
