At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
