i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
