Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
