yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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