ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
