kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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