he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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