i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize