chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize