Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
