I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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