He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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