Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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