Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
