if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
