I need help removing her.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
