what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
