1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Duck Duck Cougar?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
