I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
