I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
