In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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