I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I wish you could order shots online.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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