did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
