I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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