would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
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