Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
