You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
