ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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