if i can run in heels then i can drive
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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