how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
