the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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