It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize