He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
