hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
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An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
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Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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