Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
