I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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