Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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