Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
