Do you still have your period?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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