Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
