I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
