New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize