How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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