Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
