But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I need a burrito and a hug.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
