I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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