I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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