Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
